Humor: The moral Story of One stone

Good day readers.. here's another humor try to guess the moral story...

One Stone - This was his Indian name given to him
because he had only one testicle. After years and
years of this torment One Stone cracked and said, "If
anyone calls me One Stone again I will kill them!" The
word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and
said, "Good morning, One Stone." He jumped up, grabbed
her and took her deep into the forest, and there he
made love to her all day, he made love to her all
night, he made love to her all the next day, until
Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that One Stone meant business.

Years went by until a woman named Yellow Bird returned
to the village after many years away. Yellow Bird, who
was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw One
Stone and hugged him and said, "Good to see you, One
Stone."

One Stone grabbed her and took her deep into the
forest where he made love to her all day, made love to
her all night, made love to her all the next day, made
love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird
wouldn't die!

What is the moral of the story?
(You'll love this ...)

















Sometimes, You can't kill two Birds with One Stone !

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humor: Good Manners

During one of her daily lessons, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks her students the following question: “Michael, If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael says “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”

The teacher responds by saying, “That would be rude and impolite. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?”

Sherman says, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at dinner table. And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

“I would say, ‘Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.”

The teacher faints.

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Gone Fishing

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.

They make love for hours, and afterward they just lie in bed, enjoying the nearness o of each other .

The Phone rings, and because it's the woman's house, she reaches over and picks up the receiver.

Her lover looks over and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation.

She is speaking in a cheery voice. " hello? Oh , Hi! So glad you called. Really. That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you, Sounds Terrific. Great!Thanks! Okay. See You after 3 days. Take Care.Buh-bye!"

She hangs up the phone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," She replies, "That was my husband telling me what a wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." and smile

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Posted in: FunTyms,humour

Mask Prank

Just for laugh and to ease some burden... For the next few days I'll be posting some humor and jokes for me to relax and to help a friend... Can't force my brain to function properly...



Scream Mask Prank With Hilarious Reaction - Watch more Funny Videos


Triple Scare Prank On Mom - Watch more Funny Videos

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Posted in: funny video,FunTyms

Fake FAct

I saw this fake fact which is funny... enjoy...

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Posted in: FunTyms

Humour: Guess what's the Dinner

Bit busy today and just want to post something that make my reader smile....another humor for today: enjoy and have a nice day!


A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but
will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their
dad for the clue.
Well, he said, “It's what mommy calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screams to her brother
“Don't eat it, it's an asshole.”

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor,hunter

Humour: Encounter with Attorney

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humour: The Mother and the blind boy

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother.
The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will
come true!"
Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep.
The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish
didn't come true!" and mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humor : Jonah's Tale

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah (in bible) was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was
physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humor: Parrot Saint and Sinner

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two
female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest asks.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?!"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.

"You know, I have two male talking parrots that I have taught to pray and read the
Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis
and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots
are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.
"Thank you," the woman said, "this may be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her
in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and
praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do
you want to have some fun?
There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put
the beads away, Frankie, our prayers have been answered!"

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humor: Call Center Agent Adventures

Actual Call Center Calls



Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you
help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we’re open."
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug
the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now,
can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland "
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a
worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
number on."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK'
button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humor: Before The Problem starts

 I'm still on vacation and can't think any serious topic for today.. Here is another joke to make you smile..

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a Bud. He says "Give me a beer before
problems start!" The bartender doesn't understand but gives the man a beer.
After 15 minutes the man orders a beer again saying "Give me a beer before problems
start!" The bartender looks a little bit confused but pours the man a beer.
This goes on the whole night and after the 15th beer the bartender is totally confused
and asks the man "What do you mean with before problems start? And when are you
going to pay for all the beers you drunk."
The man answers "You see, now the problems start!"

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Humor :Joke on Phone Conversation

The Bad news and Very Bad News!

Doctor: “I have some bad news and some very bad news.”
Patient: “Well, you might as well give me the bad news first.”
Doctor: “The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.”
Patient: “24 hours! That’s terrible!! What could be worse?! What’s the very bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.” 








 

Idiot on the Phone
 
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.
“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!” 







 On the Poop

I walked into a public toilet where I found two cubicles, of which one was already
occupied. So I entered the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat
down.
A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you going?"
I thought it a bit strange, but not wanting to be rude I replied "Yeah, not too bad
thanks."
After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to?"
Unsure what to say, I replied "Umm, just having a quick poo. How about you?"
I then heard the voice for the third time ....."Sorry buddy, I'll have to call you back.
I've got some dickhead in the loo next to me answering everything I say."
—————————

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

random Funny Pic

Just some funny images...



At work

The effect of global warming

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Posted in: FunTyms

High Tech Dad

A little boy goes to his father and asks: “Daddy, how was I born?”

The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I setup a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got a Male!

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Posted in: FunTyms

Humor: Dinner Talk

A family is at the diner table. Out of the blue, the son ask his father,
" Dad, How many kinds of boobies are there?"
 The father, surprised answers,
"Well , Son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a womans breast are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?" Asked the son.
"When you see them and they will make you cry!" replied by the father.

This infuriated his wife and his daughter.... So the daughter asked to her Mom
"Mom, How many kinds of penises are there?"
The mother smiles and answers,
"Well dear, A man goes through three phases. In hi twenties , his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. On his thirties and forties, Its a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A christmas tree?" asked the daughter.
"Yes! Dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

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Posted in: FunTyms,humor

Tale of a Chicken

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Posted in: funny,FunTyms

Humor: Police Intimidation Level

   

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Posted in: funny,FunTyms,police

Funny Facebook Status

A collection of crazy user with their funny status.

Need words of encouragement? Ask one from your facebook friends!

A dangerous water fight.. lol

 I love Music!

Gandal vs Dumbledore

The Good News!

I 








wonder whats the color of the hair of this user?

The great Lincoln

Yo Mama Joke! (love this one!)

the sweet revenge!

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Posted in: facebook joke,facebook status,funny,FunTyms

How to Love

   Yup! you read the tittle right.. It's not love month but I have the urge to post this.. and more...LOL.
     Who wouldn't want to experience LOVE. Love has different meaning in every people, different belief but still they are talking about love. Love is patient... Love is blah blah blah.....
     How to take care of your love, the one that your holding one. Let's admit it we are hoping to find our great love,  but in reality there's no GREAT LOVE, we are the one making the great love, not searching for it. It is up to us if we are willing to make it great. Just remember love is sweet and painful.
    I'm not a love Guru thats enough! Just a little info on how to love... with a little bit of humor but its real...

For the Guys:


Love your girl as if she's only 16. No longer a girl but not yet a woman. Love her with all your heart, respect her, set a few rules and never break her heart.

For Girls :

    Love your boy as if he's only 8. Let him play with his toys and go out with his playmates to enjoy life. Don't worry for at the end of the day, He'll still come home to you. Teach him to be honest.

and for the Loveless:


     Just go to the nearest video store and buy lots of DVD for marathon watching... Play farmville or any games on facebook in able to forget that you are loveless...
Or play MMORPG online, Hoping you find love and hopefuly that is a real woman. :P

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Posted in: F.Y.I.,FunTyms,how to love,love guru,love tips