My Funny list of Breaking Up

      Breaking up is hard to do when you don't want to hurt someones feelings.. Well during my teen years I came up with the most bizarre on getting my freedom from my relationship... I must say my girlfriend in my teen years was broke up with me because of my fault... errr I mean I carefully planed everything... so that I will not feel  bad about it and don't want to see them cry for me or miserable because of me....
     Isn't weird? Don't want to hurt someone's feeling... well it's true I'm a good boy. I stick to one girl while in a relationship. I showed a good side of me and always promise that I will not hurt a girl and always tell to them I will not the one who will break up with them and will never do anything to break their heart..Everything is always smooth in my relationship... No argument, no nagging, I cooked and take care with my flavor of the months, I treat her as my queen, no dull moment, always have a humor, in short every woman's dream of having a perfect boyfriend I fulfilled them. I showed the real me without pretension, a caring person... When I started to ask "Aren't you bored with me?" it means that I'm starting to get bored with the girl and the next 3 days I will ask more question and carefully planning how to get out on that relationship.
     This are the most weird break up that only a sick mind can think... HAHAHA


1. Pretend to be sick :  I came up this idea because my girlfriend of the moth love to pamper always and she's my baby.. so in able to act real sick and I have serious illness I level up my acting.. Tray fainting in the middle of a restaurant where you work while serving a dinner from your customer. The next thing you will know all of the staff is hysterically worried to you, keep pretending and don't smile or else all of the meal and soup that you wasted will be charge on you... and the news will spread until your girlfriend heard that news.. This will showed how your lover cares for you...at first she will care and repeat it again... my next move act again like you are exhausted and faint again.. this time in the kitchen area but watch from the stainless tray... well it's a hell of believable acting, a tray fall from my head and got me wounded and this time its really hurt but I kept my eyes close and pretending that you are unconscious. This time every crew will freak out and you will be rush to the hospital but before you arrived to the hospital act you are in conscious and tell them you are okay on a very weak voice and if they insist that you are not okay... hysterical shout and said you are okay and you need to rest and you don't have a money to pay to the hospital, and ask them to pay if they want, well its effective since most of my co-worker didn't bring money because they got panic when they saw my head bleeding and it is 2nd time around I fainted and saw me weakening..   Now when your supervisor ask you need check up, proceed and show the result of x-ray and some result of paper test of your heart and since they are not doctor came up with a brilliant story of sickness congenital heart defect and blah blah blah all about those scientific term of sickness and how you get it.... trust me on this it will work they don't know how to read those result from your examination and they will not bother to visit the doctor since they are afraid of the fees... Don't tell this to your girlfriend but sooner she will know your secret that you are sick.... then resign from your work to make it more believable and let your girlfriend take care for you and really pretend, In just 1 week your girlfriend will get cold to you and in the end she will break up with you... but before you do this act make sure you have work waiting for you in 1 month and resign on your work as a crappy service crew in a fast food.




2. Be happy and Gay :  Ask and bribe your friend that pose and act that you are kissing  then photoshop it and send it to her email using anonymous email.. well she will have a doubt at first if its real or not... next a camera..in the right angle a camera trick that  will deceive the  eyes that looks that two men are kissing and the other guy get mad and throw the camera but still playing and hearing some nasty sound that only gay couple would do but make sure you are good at editing a video.. then send the video to her email anonymously, the next thing you know she will break up with you faster than you thought and act you are clueless and ask why..... You and your friends will laugh  on this....

3. Act mentally sick : This one is easy for me because I just ask my girlfriend  to go with me constantly on my  psychiatrist and she will get curious why you constantly checking  psychiatrist. and she will jump into conclusion that you are mentally sick..  It is common mind set of filipino that if you are constantly checking or been seeing a psychiatrist they will think you're a psycho.. sooner or later your girlfriend will break up with you and when you ask why she will replied to you  "It's not about you, you are okay! blah...blah .. blah!"



4. Get her to break up with you:  Stop showering and brushing your teeth for 2 weeks and kiss her and always pampered her, hug her and act you are a druggie.. sooner or later she will loose her love on you and introduce her to attractive, single acquaintances that share her the same interest without her knowing that its your plan. Ask your friend to take care of her since you are not the perfect man for her.




5. Give her a doubt that you are related: This one is easy for me since its kind true but so far weird. My girlfriend middle name is the same as my real father last name, a father that I didn't seen.. So I came up with the story and with a little info in my hand I even had conversation with her mom whic I made up some story of my dad is from Bulacan which is my girlfriends mother is from Bulacan and the rest her mom tells the story and the next thing you know she will break up with you thinking that maybe you are related to each other... pretend that you are not and its okay what if you are just 4th cousin or 5th..

6. Emotional Black Mail :  I came up with this idea because early 2000's the F4 fever is the latest rad and I have the hairstyle of Jerry Yan even before they got famous in the Philippines. I got tired or maybe bored or challenged on how to break up to a perfect girl or jealous.. or because of insecurities because I have nothing to offer to her compared to the other guy who's courting her because they have beautiful car...well that's the signal to laid my plan.. I asked her why they keep courting her if she already turn them down...or is it? I told her that she is just taking me for granted and made some major drama about my life and my so called insecurities, I told her that all I showed to her is good and I made her happy all the time and ask if I did something wrong... this is my some of script I memorize; " I get tired of being taken for granted, I always understand you and how about me?" and we have a heart to heart talk until her mistake she gave me a hint to proceed my plan.. she ask how she will prove that she's not taking me for granted.. then  I told her to sing and memorize this song Xiang Yao Ai Ni by Jerry Yan and even tell her the the meaning of the song.. I told her to sing it for me in right diction and not looking in any copy.. just memorize it and she said WTF.. my replied " see you are taking me for granted , for you it just some song but for me its meaningful and show my interest and you will respect that and not giving me that WTF!"  "If your really love a person you will do anything just to make him happy, that song will make me happy when you sing it with your heart. It is a simple song, a song that you can get the lyrics and memorize it in a little time" I told her that in a sad tone and very serious .. " to be fair I will give you 1 week." I told her that.. and she did it and she cant memorize it with the diction and the lyrics which is really hard for her.. but she proves she will do it... and she kept playing the song non-stop and sing along with it but most of the time she forgot the lyrics because she is busy getting the right intonation and diction of the song, but she got inspired when I sing with her , yep I sing -along with the song to prove I knew the song... 


She gave up singing the song because she can't memorize and get the right diction. I told her it's okay but I used her emotion, guilt and made her realized if she really loves me .. I asked her how'd you know it is love not some inspiration, aspiration or crush....Do you know what love is and what made you think that you really love me and after 10 days she asked for some cool off.. I asked her why and her replied something is wrong with her and she will search for the answer.......

I completely forgot the lyrics of this song... I just used this song as one of my stupid excuses because some girls hearts F4 and it gave me an idea... LOL..



Crazy .... A challenge for me without hurting them, breaking up without the guilt but instead giving them the guilt. Some of them are my experiement on what women wants and porve to myself that men is not dumb when it comes to relationship.. or is it? My Psychiatrist told me  I have very high expectation on Love because when it comes to my family I gave more and not expecting in return from them but my subconcious is asking for it and without knowing .. and as soon as my expectation didn't met the requirement I got bored.. and dig deeper on my current fling and searching and measuring the love she can give to me and my defense mechanism is to read the womans action and not hurting them, as for that still convincing myself of not shredding my good boy image....
    I ask myself If am sick, bored or well documented.. a result of too much reading and became a crazy teen......DON'T JUDGE ME! I'M NOT A BOOK.. lol... just kidding

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